I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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