Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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