I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
