Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
