Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
