just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
