Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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