There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
