but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
