You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
look no pants
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
