Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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