everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
