That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
