I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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