Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
