next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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