isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
