My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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