you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
