if i can run in heels then i can drive
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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