it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
