I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
