I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
