I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
