It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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