stop calling my apartment porn island.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
