He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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