the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
