what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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