I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
