Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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