these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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