Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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