Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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