Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
