Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
