Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Dick very happy bro
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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