Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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