Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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