That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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