Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize