I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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