rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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