I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
