Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
