Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
