The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i barfeds in our rink
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
