Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
