Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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