I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Semen is not good for contacts.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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